La Vie En Rose - Ne Pas!!!

I am at the lowest point in my life. The point where you wonder “what the hell is it all for” or think “why don’t I just run away and start all over”.

I rather not go into all the details why or how I got to this point but it has to do with poverty, license suspension, weight gain, and boredom.

My friend told me, “They say once you reach rock bottom, there is no place to go but up”. That gives me no comfort. Nor does the fact that my "life" could be worst. Yeah, my life sucks but thank God I have two arms and legs! That doesn't make things better. Misery is relative.

I am so lost. Seriously, something big and extraordinary NEEDS to happen to me soon or I fear I’m going to lose it (I started playing the lotto with change I find). How much can one person bare and still walk around with a smile.

I’m tired of acting as if everything is okay. I’m tired of pretending like my life is great. It sucks and it hurts, but silly old me can’t tell anyone. Why bother others with my problems, everyone has problems and are going through some ish.

Sigh.